A few weeks ago I wrote about how I was diagnosed with my second autoimmune disorder (autoimmune hepatitis) and today, I found out that that was a FAKE OUT. I got blood results back from the liver specialist I saw after my PCP was all “Sorry, looks like you have a second autoimmune disease” and this guy was all like “well, looks like your liver levels are normal so for now, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you…” What in the flying hell just happened here?! Sick, not sick, really sick, kinda not sick, what’s the answer?! For now, I’m going to go with kind of sick until someone gives me concrete evidence that I am most definitely sick. Sounds like a plan, right? RIGHT, because that’s the last time I react to news that may or may not be true, despite how sure the person telling me the news is. Also, I think I should be refunded the cost of that appointment.
I’m not sure how this is happening or why, but these are my numbers lately:
I haven’t been doing anything different diet, treatment, or exercise wise, so I don’t know where this drop in numbers (September to October) is coming from. Don’t get me wrong- I don’t hate it!- but I wish I knew exactly why it was happening. Such a T1D problem to have too. All I know is that if and when this honeymoon ends, I’m going to cry and cry and maybe eat some ice cream.
I’ve developed this weird sign that my blood sugar is hovering on the lower end of life- my throat kind of closes up like I’m having an allergic reaction to something. Anyone else get that? I kind of like it because it’s so obvious but I kind of don’t like it because it makes me feel like I’m going to break out in hives in any minute. I also get the obvious ones- sweats and shakes, nervousness, sound like I’m drunk, etc etc, but this one is relatively new.
This whole “deadly illness that may cause you to lose your sight and/or appendages” has made me really understand YOLO(ooooo) on a whole different level. This song also did, but in a completely different and humorous manner:
What I’m trying to say is that I’m feeling like I need to do things, crazy things, because I’m now painfully aware of my mortality. I feel like it’s a “thing” to have a bucket list, a list of things to do before you die, but instead of a bucket list I’m going to make a restless list. I feel like bucket lists are for relatively tame things, like gallivanting across Italy for a few weeks or driving cross country, and that just doesn’t work for what I’m feeling, you know what I mean? No? That’s okay because I barely know what I mean.
Here’s my restless list, because life is too short for boring:
1. Skydive. Stereotypical? Yes? Seem a little less reckless because GW Senior does it like, all the time? Maybe, but that still doesn’t negate the fact that I want to hurl myself out of a plane thousands of feet up from the ground.
2. Speak up. This is reckless in the sense that there’s real potential to hurt someone’s feelings and look like an asshole all at once, but listen, if I spent $130 to go to a playoff baseball game and your drunk, confused, chatty body is blocking my view, I’m going to ask you to get out of the way real quick instead of twiddling my thumbs to see if you move on your own. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
3. Climb a real mountain. I do a lot of tame suburban hiking so I would like to climb an actual mountain that requires hiking boots and a backpack. This is also a huge step for me because I hate everything about tents-sleeping in them, setting them up, looking at them, smelling them- and if I climb an actual mountain I’ll have to sleep in one without complaint. Mountains chosen? None. Suggestions..?
4. Become a real estate mogul. Monopoly speaks to me like no other board game- buy properties, build them up, pawn them off at ridiculously high prices to your younger sibling who doesn’t know better- it’s great! I want to do that in real life a la Donald Trump, but in a more sustainable, earthy-crunchy way. Buy property, green-rehab it, sell at reasonable price, start all over with a new property. Unrealistic? Yes…but I just really want to do it, and I’m anxious to get started on it, hence why this is on the “restless” list.
Fact: I like books that make me think and teach me something new. I do not like books that involve any shades of grey.
Whole is by T. Colin Campbell, author of The China Study and one of the stars of the documentary “Forks Over Knives.” I’ve already seen the documentary (if you haven’t, you should) and have been a vegetarian for years, so why buy a $27 book to tell me something I seemingly already know- plant based diets are better cough cough. Well, I don’t already know the stuff in Whole– it’s about nutrition, how it works, and how it works in conjunction with disease. I’m hoping that reading Whole will kick me into a super diet/lifestyle that will even out T1D symptoms and keep my insulin doses at pretty low levels, like a permanent honeymoon! I have no idea if this will work, this book needs to convince me, but what I do know from trial and error is that processed foods make me have rollercoaster days and whole foods do not. I might do a 2 week detox after reading where I just eat whole foods to see the overall effect on BGs and who knows, maybe it’ll work! Problem solving 101, yo.
One of many Tom Hanks interviews about his T2D announcement and I dunno, it just made me feel weird. I’m sure Tom didn’t mean to reiterate that T1 is a terrifying, horrible disease that you have for life and struggle to manage, but I mean come on Tom! I’m happy that you’re taking such a positive attitude about managing your diabetes, but I refuse to be friends with anyone who brings the doom and gloom back into the room. Let’s all get together in one big diabetic circle, sing kumbaya, and not play the “this one is better than that one” game, okay?
One of the most devastating things I learned when I was first diagnosed with T1D was the carb count of a banana. Did you know that a medium sized banana has like, a million carbs in it? If that number seems high, it’s because I’m exaggerating- a medium sized banana has about 30 grams of carbs in it. To me, anything that requires me to take insulin to cover the carbs isn’t worth eating as a snack, so I won’t eat it unless it’s part of a meal. As such, I have a million frozen banana halves waiting to make friends with my blender since I refuse to eat a whole banana at once. Enter the solution: baby bananas. Did you guys know these things existed?! My boyfriend spotted them in Whole Foods and yeah, they’re kind of creepy small but they are the p-e-r-f-e-c-t size because the carb count is like what, 10 grams? Ding ding, we have a winner- peanut butter and baby bananas for the world! I don’t think I have ever been so excited about produce before.